


You Won't Find Him Where You Think

by viind



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Karl Jacobs, Mentioned Niki | Nihachu, POV Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Panic Attacks, Pining, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, no beta we die like men, slight sexual undertones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29346240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viind/pseuds/viind
Summary: Title from "Jesus in LA" by Alec Benjamin--Electric shot through his shoulder as a warm hand gently set on it. He turned his head towards George, meeting earnest eyes mixed with pity. “It’s alright. You seem very… stressed.” His eyes traveled along the floor for a moment, snapping back to bright green. “You know it’s fine to not be alright, right?”Dream wanted to crack a joke. Maybe a flirtatious comment that would make George retract, scoffing about ‘I just wanted to make you feel better and you decide to flirt’. But any words died, hot needles burning his eyes. The air around the shared apartment became suffocating, and he was amazed at every breath his lungs managed to fill with.George pulled him in tightly, rubbing comforting circles on his back. Dream hated it. He hated crying, but even more so in front of George. With Sapnap, they could joke off the few tears that manage to escape, but he could always collect himself quickly. With George, they always spilled until he was too exhausted to continue.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Kudos: 28





	You Won't Find Him Where You Think

**Author's Note:**

> Mild projecting onto Dream. Song doesn't relate to the story, just I've been looping it for the past few days. Note that this is my third time writing anything "romantic", so I still have no clue how to write it effectively. Also note that I have 0 clue about actors and sets, so everything is more or less just an assumption. I'll do actual research into it for future chapters :)
> 
> -
> 
> Dream and George said they're fine with ship fanfic being written about them, but if that ever changes I'll take this down. Or if either of them express discomfort about any topic in this fic

It was his chance to change everything. The starting course of  _ his entire life _ , all relied on this one moment. The spark that would ignite his entire career, and would dictate every action he made in the future.

And he was fucking it up. In ways he didn’t know were even possible.

“Dream!” He flinched at the snarl, the tone ringing in his ears even when he tried to forget it. “What the hell are you even doing?!”

He opened his mouth. To apologise? Defend himself? Any words died in his throat, vision swirling around him. He had to remind himself that his feet were still rooted firmly on the soft green blanket.

“This is the  _ third _ time we’ve had to repeat this! I’ve already said, give the character more life. I do have to say, you’d excel at being one of those backup zombies in The Walking Dead. Maybe you should apply for that?” The director let out a bitter laugh, and Dream could feel the hands squeeze his throat, an attempt to cut off oxygen supply to the rest of his body.

Instead of doing, well, anything, he gave the director a weak smile. This seemed to be a poor move.

“And you’re smiling!” The director’s tone was harsh, exasperated expression painted clear as day. “I can’t believe you.” A sigh. “Take a break, everyone. Dream, see me in ten minutes.”

He realised that he hadn’t responded when the director’s eyes continued to burn into him. He offered up a feeble, miserable nod.

Dream wasn’t sure when or how he had managed to find himself to a chair. His emerald eyes locked with a lovely blue, and his eyes trailing the white cotton stretched across the blanket.  _ Sky watching. Great. _ He could feel the cold panic claw at him, frozen waves electrifying him any time his mind began to work. It was painfully spiteful, and insisted everything was his fault. As if that was anything new.

“Dream?”

His eyes slowly slid away from the sky, dancing over the set. This was the first time they had recorded outside. It was a lovely day, with minimal clouds and wind. Even on the stretch of hill the small group of actors and staff had set up on. There were broken buildings shooting out of the ground, bricks still a lovely light grey despite being at nature’s mercy for years.

“Dream.”

His eyes snapped to dark brown. They looked black, only the slightest shade differentiating the iris from the pupil.

“Look, man. You’re doing fine. The director is just picky.” The brown eyes drew themselves around his face, watching for even the slightest facial expression change. Worry swam deep in their depths.

Dream titled his head slightly to the side, watching a frown spread across his friend’s face. “No, the director is right. I have been a tad lifeless, Sap. And I don’t know how to fix it.” He ran his hand through his dirty blonde hair, fingers swirling around a strand and plucking it out with ease.

Sapnap grabbed his wrist, gently untangling his fingers from the rest of the strands and pulling it down, gently placing it next to him. Dream sighed, giving the shorter boy a pat on his brown hair. It was pulled in a lazy man bun. “I’m fine. It’s been ten minutes. Director’ll have my head if I’m late.” He tried his best to give his friend a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine.”

Sapnap slid his hand away from where he had intertwined their fingers. Dream hadn’t noticed. “If you say so, man. But remember I’ll always be here for you.” Honesty shone in his eyes. “I’ll always be here for you, even if you’ve been closer to George recently.”

_ George. _ The name sent another wave of anxiety crashing through him, but he waved it off.  _ Focus, Dream. _ “Sorry.” He gave a sheepish smile. “But yeah, I know. Thanks. And even if I don’t say it constantly, I always appreciate you.”

That seemed to satisfy him, a smile overtaking the frown. “Just make sure I’m not replaced, yeah? I’ve held best friend title for  _ years _ and I’ll be damned if I lose it to some British man.”

Dream chuckled, and the ghost hands still tightly wrapped around his throat seemed to loosen a bit. But only a bit. He didn’t give Sapnap an answer, which was met with a whine as he waved and turned away.

“Rough day?”

Dream laid on the couch, arm covering his eyes. He could only summon a sigh. Rough was an understatement.

He moved his arm just enough to watch the brunette. Emerald met brown, pity filling them. “Do you want a coffee or anything?”

Dream pushed himself up to actually sit on the couch, which George took as an offer to sit next to him. Not his intention, but he couldn’t say he was  _ unhappy _ with the result. “No thanks…” He muttered, the thought of consuming anything making his stomach churn.

Electric shot through his shoulder as a warm hand gently set on it. He turned his head towards George, meeting earnest eyes mixed with pity. “It’s alright. You seem very… stressed.” His eyes traveled along the floor for a moment, snapping back to bright green. “You know it’s fine to not be alright, right?”

Dream wanted to crack a joke. Maybe a flirtatious comment that would make George retract, scoffing about ‘ _ I just wanted to make you feel better and you decide to flirt _ ’. But any words died, hot needles burning his eyes. The air around the shared apartment became suffocating, and he was amazed at every breath his lungs managed to fill with.

George pulled him in tightly, rubbing comforting circles on his back. Dream hated it. He hated crying, but even more so in front of George. With Sapnap, they could joke off the few tears that manage to escape, but he could always collect himself quickly. With George, they always spilled until he was too exhausted to continue.  _ Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. _

His body betrayed his mind as hot tears spilled. He hugged George tightly back, ignoring the slight flutter his heart made at the soft chuckle from the brunette. His head found itself buried nicely in the boy’s shoulder, hands curling tightly on fabric as he still tried to resist every tear that fell.

“There, there.” George soothed, continuing the circle with his left hand while trying to brush his right hand through dirty blonde hair. Awkwardly, due to the head restricting movement, but it warmed Dream’s heart more than he would ever dare to put into words.

It was a solid of comfortable silence. Even when he had long stopped crying, neither said a word. George had broken the hug first, much to Dream’s disappointment. The short lived disappointment disappeared when George had pulled him down to rest his head in his lap. He looked down at him, gentle smile patient while running a hand comfortingly through his hair.

Dream could only stare at him, enamored. They may have only been friends since Dream’s freshmen year of college, but he couldn’t imagine his life before him. It was amazing, of how quickly George took his entire heart without even knowing it. He had come to the realisation only at the beginning of the year, and it was painful every time he thought too hard about it,

“Whatcha thinking about?” George’s voice was soft, inviting, warm. It felt like home.

“Just thinking about when we had first met.”

George hummed, hand stilling for a second as he thought. “I’m pretty sure it was Karl who forced us to be all chummy, right?”

Dream nodded, feeling his heart warm when George continued to run his hands through his hair. “Yup.” He popped the ‘p’, resisting the urge to cup George’s cheek. Instead, he shifted slightly, pulling himself back up onto the couch from where he had slowly been sliding off. “Though I don’t think he meant to. Remember of how he made this whole show when you quote on quote abandoned him?”

George chuckled, watching his own hand as it ran through his hair. “Yeah, I remember. He had even managed to fake cry, first try. It took me  _ years _ to be able to do that.”

Dream laughed at the slight pout, heart only growing, impossibly, fonder. “At least you’re able to.”

George hummed, meeting his gaze. “I’ve offered to teach you.”

His lips curled downward slightly, the warmth growing a tad colder. “I know.”

“No pressure.” George smiled kindly, and Dream just thought he might cry again. “Speaking of, do you want to talk about today?”

Dream hadn’t realised that he was playing with George’s sleeve until one of his knuckles brushed against warmth, the slight flick of George’s eyes showing that it was fine. “It was just,” he drew a deep breath, shocked that his body didn’t try to deprive him of air, “a mess.” A sigh escaped through his lips as he closed his eyes. “I couldn’t get the personalization or anything right. I kept messing up. The tone, actions, looks, everything was wrong.”

George hummed, and Dream could feel that he was still looking at him, despite him closing his eyes. He continued, “The director was  _ pissed _ . After all, I only got the role because Sapnap recommended me. Otherwise, I’d never even got the chance to audition. My acti-”

“You’re a great actor, Dream.” Dream opened his eyes, regretting it only slightly when his breathing stopped at the sight of wide, honest eyes. “I’ve seen you act, and you put your everything into it. Just because the director is picky doesn’t mean you don’t have the skills.”

Dream couldn’t even respond, just stared with a slightly startled expression. Time seemed to stop as the two locked eyes, George refusing to break contact because of his determination while Dream physically unable to stop.

“If you need help, I’m always more than willing.”

Dream somehow managed to escape the trap he willingly stepped into, eyes sliding away. “Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m serious, Dream. You have someone who’s played in many roles in many movies right in front of you. Only a fool would skip out on this opportunity.”

When Dream risked a look back, he could feel his heart sink. It was a cruel reminder of everything he’s wanted, but will never be able to reach. And he wasn’t talking about his career.

“I’m here to help you. Even if I seem busy, if you  _ ever _ need anything just poke your head in.”

Dream gave him a smile, one that shared more vulnerability than he would with anyone else. “Thanks.” It was quiet, private, and he could’ve died happy at the softening expression George gave him. “I’ll hold you to your words.”

The director beamed. “Very good work, everyone! Take a break. Lunch should be arriving soon.”

Everyone looked relieved, either bunching together in small, friendly groups or going off on their own. Dream was one of those that opted to go off on his own.

Through snooping through the scene a few days back, he had managed to find his own little place of paradise. It was in a window sill of one of the broken buildings. This one, however, was far less broken than the others. The sill was thick enough that he could sit comfortably, crossing his legs and enjoy his breaks in peace. Well, until Sapnap had found him a day ago.

“I heard that today’s lunch is going to be Chick-fil-A.”

Sapnap plopped across from him, the sill being big enough to hold them both. “Is it now? That’s cool. I haven’t had that in a while.”

Sapnap began to idly chat, rambling about random things. Dream had zoned out after something along the lines of a ‘ _ do you think that horses would run faster with six legs?’ _ . He noticed a slightly grey cloud peak across the horizon, the cotton ripped in loosely connected strings. He could just barely taste the distant rain.

“It’ll storm soon.”

Sapnap quieted, following his gaze. “It wasn’t suppose to rain today.” He huffed, turning his attention back to Dream. “I was supposed to do a really cool scene today! At least you got through all your scenes for today.”

Dream smirked, cocking an eyebrow. “If I recall correctly, I’m presumed dead by the entire kingdom. Taken hostage by the neighboring one. Not the best perdictiment.”

Sapnap rolled his eyes. “That’s cool though! Ignoring the torture your character is probably enduring, you get to roll up all badass and whatever going ‘ _ you thought I was dead, and you were wrong! _ ’. My character has just been existing.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation to you, your character does get to take on ten knights from the other kingdom all by himself. That’s pretty sick, in my opinion.”

Sapnap whined. “Yeah, but we won’t be able to record that today. I was really looking forward to it, too. I even got the whole make-up done and everything.”

Dream laughed, hanging his legs out the window. With a small push, he landed on the vibrant green blades. “Just think about the make-up artists. They’ve done the majority of the actors today, and more than half of them won’t even be able to act.” His smile stretched wider and the huff from Sapnap. “Anyways, I’ll go get our lunch. Hopefully that cheers you up a tad.”

When he returned to the main set, he could just barely hear murmurs of the incoming storm from the actors. And the staff looked beyond annoyed, having gotten everything set up for a long day of recording and now had to pack quickly or risk thousands of dollars worth of equipment. One of the staff caught his eyes, face lighting up as she walked over happily.

“Hello! I’m guessing you’re here for the food?”

Dream nodded, trying to tie together his loose memories. It clicked, suddenly. “Yes please, Niki. Also, could I pick up Sap’s as well?”

Niki smiled, handing him a random box before looking through the other’s. She looked tired, probably from having spent multiple hours making sure all the actor’s make-up looked good only to discover that the recording will probably be canceled for today. “You got a special order.”

Dream tilted his head to the side, confusion clear on his face. “I don’t think I did. I don’t have any allergies or anything.”

Niki didn’t look up, instead only shrugging. She looked for a second more before grabbing a box, passing it to him and handing him two water bottles.

“Thank you.” He gave her a friendly smile, walking back to where Sapnap was eagerly waiting for lunch.

“Any longer and I would’ve starved to death right here.” His tone was dramatic. Acting fit him well.

“Darn, then I’d be able to have eaten both.”

Sapnap made a sound of protest, face lighting up when Dream handed over the food.

He pulled himself up onto the sill, opening the box curiously. Niki had said he’d gotten a ‘special order’, but he couldn’t recall ever asking for one. A paper was gently folded up on the top.

_ “You’re doing great! :) -G” _

“What, you got a nude or something?” Sapnap teased lightly. Dream covered his face, feeling the red blush spread across.

“Shut up, idiot.” He tossed the water bottle, feeling slightly victorious at the grunt Sapnap made, having been hit on the shoulder. His heart was fluttering, and he wasn’t sure why something as simple as a note made him  _ this _ happy.  _ You’ve really gotten the love bug bad, huh. _

George jumped, obviously not having expected Dream to come home that early. Especially not soaking wet.

“It’s raining?”

Dream only nodded, sliding his shoes off and placing them gently on the shoe rack. He stretched, cold relief washing over his sore shoulders. “I’m taking a shower.”

“There’s no heat.”

His head snapped to George’s, a question in his eyes. George gave him a sympathetic look. “Boiler for the apartment blew. We’ll have to get it checked out.”

Dream whined. “I was really hoping to relax in a nice, hot shower.” He sighed. “I guess that plan is out the window.”

George flashed him a smile. “Sorry, I was planning on trying to get it fixed before you came back.”

“It’s fine.” He rubbed at his shoulder, wincing slightly at the sharp pain. He really was looking forward to a hot shower to try to unwind his strained muscles.

He watched the brunette follow his hand, before his eyes popped back to maintain eye contact. “Sore shoulders?”

Dream nodded. “Yeah, just a tad.”

George went silent, thinking. He spoke up after a moment. “Go change and I’ll help you after.”

His protest was cut off before he could even begin it. “And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Dream ignored the way his heart stopped for a moment, offering a meek ‘okay’ as he went to the bathroom to change. Locking the door behind him, a habit he had picked up as a child and never dropped, he curled his hands around freezing marble and risked a glance in the mirror. Light pink dusted his cheeks, faint enough that you wouldn’t notice it unless you were looking for it. He was never one to blush easily, but George had thrown a lot of things out the window without realising. His heart spiked, mind betraying him by feeding his thoughts. Some of which caused his hands to tighten more, to the point where lines burned into his skin. Dream quickly pulled back, awkwardly sliding off the wet clothes. It was always a pain to change wet clothing. He slid on a basic white tee, and a random pair of grey sweatpants that he didn’t know he owned.

When he left the bathroom, he found George sitting on the couch, the weather report crackling out from the T.V. Dream instantly noticed how he sat on his legs, shifting as he tried to find a position that didn’t cause any sparks of pain. “We may lose power.” He stated, waving towards the candles he had set up on the table in the corner of the living room. They were red, and, for some reason unknown to him, only caused his thoughts to spiral more. “Sit on the floor in front of me.”

Dream plopped down, crossing his legs and shifting against the carpet to get more comfortable. He leaned his back against the soft couch, hair brushing George’s knees as he looked up at him.

George smiled down at him, the one reserved for only him. Soft and homely, the smile that never failed to steal the air straight from Dream’s lungs. He scooted back slightly, trying to give Dream more room.

“Isn’t sitting on your legs uncomfortable?” Dream asked, absentmindedly.

George hummed, running a hand through Dream’s hair. He wasn’t much for physical contact, but always ran his hand through Dream’s hair every chance he got nowadays. Dream couldn’t stop the fond smile from spreading. “No, not really. It’s one of those things you just have to get used to. Once you find a good position, it’s actually quite comfortable.”

Dream stared at him, deciding it would be better to not speak. He pushed his back more against the couch, letting his head fall more across George’s legs. He could feel the older boy still for a moment, before continuing the gentle brushing.

After a few moments, George gently pushed Dream off his legs, much to his disappointment. “I didn’t call you out here just to brush your hair. Sit up straight.”

Dream pulled his back flush against the couch, straightening up his posture. George hummed, gently placing a finger against the back of his neck. Dream suppressed a shiver, body drunk off the way it set fire blazing. The finger rested there, and Dream didn’t know what to do. Half of him wants to crack a joke, making fun at the hesitance George was showing. The other half was content on staying silent, letting the hot electricity spread through his body. He knew George didn’t know what this simple touch had done to him, and, despite the pit of guilt that settled like a rock in his stomach, he didn’t want him to ever move away. In fact, some primal thought seemed to nestle in his head and spew it’s nonsense. He didn’t want George to  _ just _ place a finger on him, he wanted him to to feel his finger curl around to thoat, pushi-

“Sorry.” George muttered, pulling his hand away. The sudden lack of warmth shot Dream out of his thoughts, and he would’ve sighed in relief had George not slid his thumbs down the collar of his shirt, placing it firmly in the middle of each shoulder. “This alright?”

Dream forgot how to speak. So, he didn’t. He simply nodded, trying desperately to keep his thoughts holy and pure.

“Good…” George’s voice was lower than normal, gentle. And any hope of keeping the dirty thoughts at bay died in that moment. “Have you ever had a massage before?”

Dream shook his head, still unable to speak. More now in fear that he’d spill some of the many secrets he kept from, or about, his friend.

“My mum taught me how to do one. If it hurts or anything, tell me.”

_ Oh, you have no cl- _

He bit his bottom lip, tossing that rabbit hole of a thought away. “Will do.” He cringed at how breathy his voice sounded, though, if George had noticed, he didn’t make any comment on it.

Dream found the whole experience so  _ warm _ , it could’ve brought a tear to his eye.

George slowly releasing pent up muscles, some more painful than others. Those caused Dream to make a small grunt or huff of pain, which caused George to mutter a soft apology. His body drank up every single apology, like it was trying to get a high off of the gentle words. The weather report said something about a big storm, but he struggled to pay attention when the slightest brush of the smaller boy caused electric shocks. There was a passing thought that maybe George felt the shocks, but that instantly drifted away at a wince and a hiss.

“Sorry, does it hurt bad?”

It  _ did _ hurt a tad, but the sharp needles that stabbed through his shoulders only added to the high. Especially when the taut muscles were relaxed under George’s gentle fingers, causing Dream a quiet sigh of relief without fail.

“Way better than before.” He chuckled, having to put extra care into his voice to keep it even. “I can’t even remember the last time my shoulders  _ didn’t _ hurt.”

George hummed, fingers pushing onto flesh, causing Dream to flinch at another needle stabbed through him. “Glad to be in service, then.”

They fell back into a homely silence, T.V. having cut out to the Direct TV icon bouncing back and forth. It both lasted far too long, but at the same time not long enough. George pulled his hands up, gently dragging his thumbs across his work. “Done.” His voice was almost silent as he pulled his hands away slowly, hesitating before cutting away contact.

Dream instantly missed the extra warmth, feeling cold and suddenly small. He chewed at his bottom lip, reminding himself  _ it’s fine, remember that it’s greedy to think like that _ . Instead, he chose to pretend that the lack of touch didn’t sink his heart down to his gut. “Than-”

He was cut off by George leaning forward, wrapping his arms around him. Which, if they had been on equal ground, would have probably been a hug around his waist but instead ending up being around his neck. Dream blinked, brain shortcirciting as he felt the brunette rest his head against the back of Dream’s.

They stayed in silence for what felt like  _ years _ . George squeezed tighter, though was careful to squeeze too tight.  _ Not that I would mind. _ His thoughts betrayed him for the hundredth time that day. “I’m leaving early tomorrow for a recording.”

Dream wasn’t sure how to feel. He was still on a buzz from… well, everything. “How long?”

“Two weeks.”

Dream hummed, bringing up an arm to gently brush through George’s hair. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to plan a big party for you to come home to.”

George laughed, hot air brushing against Dream’s neck and he  _ did not _ allow his mind to say a single word. “That’d be nice. Have something to look forward to.”

“Do you not want to go?”

Dream could feel George shake his head against him. “No, it’ll be fun. It’s also a really big movie, so it’s a great opportunity.”

His mind finally became useful, for once, by offering up a memory. Of George casually saying he had gotten lead in a hyped up movie sequel. Supposed to be even better than the original.

“I remember.”

“Yeah,” George hesitated, voice sounding uncertain. Vulnerable. “I guess I’ll just… miss  _ this _ , you know?”

“This?” Dream’s breath hitched, and he hoped George hadn’t noticed.

Just like always, if he had noticed he didn’t comment on it. “Being open. Hanging out with you.” A soft chuckle blew more intoxicating air around Dream. “It’s always a blast, even though we’ve been roommates for over a year now. Always a new adventure each day.”

Dream’s mouth felt dry. So he gave a hum in response.

They stayed like that for hours, sitting in the dark when the power shut off.

He wasn’t sure when he had dozed off. But, when he woke up, George was already gone.

**Author's Note:**

> If there's any criticism or anything, that'd be great. I'm fairly displeased with my writing style, and would love to know ways to improve it. If this totally flunks, I'm going to finish writing it anyway as it's now a personal project of mine. Also, Karl and Niki will play parts in future chapters. Along with almost everyone else :)


End file.
